The Notebook Of Evil and Treacle
by beeabeeon49
Summary: In which Mr Padfoot contemplates killing Snivellus, Mr Prongs likes treacle, Mr Wormtail is obvious and Mr Moony would not like to be included in the summary. He is worried he will seem too silly. This is the notebook of evil... and treacle.
1. In Which Mr Prongs Likes Treacle

**A slightly random thing I wrote one morning and tried to finish before I had to leave. If enough people like it, I may continue!**

Mr Moony welcomes everyone to this story, and hopes they will enjoy it.

Mr Padfoot believes that opening was too formal, and just wishes to say "HOWDY!"

Messrs Moony, Wormtail and Prongs request Mr Padfoot never to do that again.

Mr Padfoot is hurt.

Messrs Moony, Wormtail and Prongs are triumphant.

Mr Padfoot believed he had better friends than that. He is going to crawl into his corner and cry for days.

Messrs Moony, Wormtail and Prongs are disturbed.

Mr Prongs believes they should change the subject and would like to announce that he likes treacle.

Mr Moony wonders how that was relevant.

Mr Padfoot thinks treacle is too thick – rather like Mr Wormtail.

Mr Prongs proposes Mr Wormtail's new marauders name be 'treacle'.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs hereby decree Mr Wormtail's new name is Mr Treacle.

Mr Treacle disagrees. He thinks that 'treacle' sounds like the name of a fat, lazy rabbit.

Mr Moony believes Mr Treacle just called himself a 'fat, lazy rabbit'.

Mr Treacle is sure he did not.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs agree with Mr Moony.

Mr Moony thinks they should change the subject again.

Mr Padfoot saw Miss Evans and Snivellus talking today.

Mr Moony wonders whether Mr Padfoot really had to bring that up?

Mr Prongs is angry and would like to come up with a way to stop those two talking ever again.

Mr Padfoot suggests killing Snivellus.

Mr Moony believes that is not the best course of action.

Mr Prongs agrees and thinks one day Mr Padfoot will go to prison for murder.

Mr Moony agrees.

Mr Padfoot wonders where Mr Treacle has gone.

Mr Prongs recalls that Mr Treacle went to the kitchen to get some more food.

Mr Padfoot is bored.

Mr Prongs suggests Mr Padfoot stop dancing the Macarena in the middle of the common room.

Mr Moony has used his scarf to cover his eyes.

Mr Prongs does not like Mr Moony's Gryffindor scarf. The red is the wrong shade.

Mr Moony likes his scarf. His grandmother made it for him.

Mr Prongs does not care.

Mr Moony expresses his relief that Mr Padfoot has stopped making an idiot of himself.

Mr Padfoot is amused by the sideways glances Miss Evans keeps sending towards Mr Prongs.

Mr Prongs wants to know WHAT THE HELL Mr Padfoot is talking about.

Mr Moony wonders how Mr Prongs did not notice.

Mr Moony also would like to point out that smiling goofily at Miss Evans will not win her heart.

Mr Padfoot tells Mr Moony Mr Prongs is not listening. He is too busy 'smiling goofily' at Miss Evans.

Mr Treacle is back.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs don't care.

Mr Treacle notices that Mr Prongs has scared Miss Evans off.

Mr Moony points out that he had noticed that as well, thanks very much.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs agree with Mr Moony.

Mr Treacle is upset. He was only trying to belong.

Mr Moony believes they should stop writing now.

Messrs Padfoot, Prongs and Treacle agree.

Mr Treacle resents that name.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs don't care.

**Please review! Would you like me to continue this?**


	2. In Which There Is A Lot Of Foreshadowing

**And apparently people wanted me to continue this, so here you go!**

_Chapter Two: In Which There Is A Lot Of Foreshadowing_

Mr Moony would like to thank everyone who has read this story.

Mr Padfoot believes that Mr Moony has just broken the fourth wall.

Mr Treacle is confused. He sees no broken walls anywhere, nor has he heard of any.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs give up on Mr Treacle.

Mr Treacle is upset.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs are amused.

Mr Treacle assures Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs that should they continue ganging up on him, he will betray them all, and then they'll be sorry.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs can barely contain their laughter.

Mr Prongs informs Messrs Moony and Padfoot that Mr Treacle has stormed off.

Mr Moony feels a little sorry.

Mr Padfoot doesn't.

Mr Prongs likes treacle.

Mr Moony believes that they have already gone over this.

Mr Padfoot is scared.

Mr Prongs would like to know why.

Mr Padfoot replies that the curtain over there is blowing creepily.

Mr Moony would like to know which one.

Mr Padfoot informs Mr Moony that he is talking about the extra-specially creepy one!

Mr Prongs is scared for Mr Padfoot's sanity.

Mr Padfoot feels flattered that Mr Prongs is so concerned about him.

On second thoughts, Mr Prongs is not scared for, but questioning Mr Padfoot's sanity.

Mr Padfoot is now annoyed. That curtain is seriously creepy!

Mr Prongs wonders whether it is siriusly creepy?

Mr Moony has deduced that Mr Padfoot has a phobia of curtains.

Mr Prongs wonders what that is called – curtainphobia? Drapephobia? Veilphobia?

Mr Padfoot believes his downfall will be a curtain.

Messrs Moony and Prongs are backing away slowly.

Mr Padfoot feels unloved.

Mr Prongs informs Mr Moony that they are the only ones left.

Mr Moony feels guilty.

Mr Prongs enquires why Miss Evans is staring at them?

Mr Moony replies that she is confused about why people keep storming away from them.

Mr Prongs supposes it would look quite odd.

Mr Moony facepalms.

Mr Prongs is sad that he is the only one left. Nobody loves him.

Mr Padfoot is certain that Mrs Potter loves Mr Prongs – not that he knows why.

Mr Prongs wonders where Mr Padfoot came from.

Mr Padfoot informs Mr Prongs that he was bored.

Mr Prongs suggests they go torment Snivellus.

Mr Moony is not sure that would exactly warm Miss Evans up towards Mr Prongs.

Mr Prongs is wondering where everyone keeps coming from.

Mr Treacle still resents that name.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs still don't care.


	3. In Which The Fourth Wall Is Broken A Lot

_Chapter Three: In Which The Fourth Wall Is Broken A Lot_

Mr Moony apologizes about the lateness of this update.

Mr Padfoot accuses Mr Treacle of eating all the sugar quills, and explains to the readers that the update was late because no quills were left.

Mr Treacle suggests proper quills were bought instead of sugar quills. That way he would not eat all the available writing equipment.

Mr Padfoot is shocked Mr Treacle could work that out all by himself.

Mr Prongs would like to add that he has heard Miss Evans talk about a Muggle version of a quill called a 'pen'.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Treacle don't care.

Mr Moony thanks the readers for saying they were in-character.

Mr Prongs is not sure what this means. Obviously they were in-character with themselves?

Mr Treacle informs Messrs Moony and Prongs that they have broken the fourth wall again.

Mr Padfoot congratulates Mr Treacle on learning what the fourth wall is.

Mr Treacle thanks MR PADFOOT.

Mr Moony wonders what the unnecessary caps lock was for.

Mr Treacle replies that he pressed the caps lock button by accident.

Mr Prongs is smug that Mr Treacle broke the fourth wall that time.

Mr Treacle protests that so did Mr Moony.

Mr Padfoot is bored.

Messrs Moony, Prongs and Treacle are not surprised. Mr Padfoot is always bored.

Mr Padfoot is not pleased with Messrs Moony, Prongs and Treacle for ganging up on him.

Mr Treacle likes cheese.

Mr Prongs tells Mr Treacle that of course he likes cheese, he's a rat.

Mr Treacle disagrees and would like to inform Mr Prongs that it is mice that like cheese, not rats.

Mr Padfoot suggests that maybe both rats and mice like cheese.

Messrs Padfoot, Prongs and Treacle are not sure.

Messrs, Padfoot, Prongs and Treacle request the help of Mr Moony.

Mr Moony replies that some rats like cheese, some don't and some mice like cheese, some don't.

Mr Prongs tells Mr Moony that that response was very diplomatic.

Mr Moony is flattered.

Mr Padfoot professes his annoyance that his name is the only name with the squiggly red line under it.

Mr Treacle is annoyed that Mr Padfoot has broken the fourth wall AGAIN.

Mr Moony informs Mr Treacle that he should not write in all caps lock, it is a bad habit to pick up.

Mr Treacle gives up on his keeping the fourth wall policies.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs rejoice.

Mr Treacle requests to have his normal marauder name back.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs refuse.

Mr Moony is wavering.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs are angry with Mr Moony.

On second thoughts, Mr Moony refuses as well.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs are proud.

Mr Treacle still resents that name.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs don't care.

**Please review! Sorry, I haven't edited it since I really wanted to share it with you guys quickly, so if you see any mistakes please tell me so I can change it!**


	4. In Which Miss Evans Likes Poetry

Messrs Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Treacle would like to inform everyone that they exist.

Mr Prongs wonders why it was necessary to tell the readers this.

Mr Padfoot replies that it is because they have not updated for ages.

Mr Moony requests Mr Treacle to stop eating all the sugar quills.

Mr Treacle wonders why it is necessary to have a conversation on paper and not out loud.

Mr Padfoot tells Mr Treacle that it is the cool way of doing stuff.

Mr Prongs agrees and would like to announce that the Marauders are the epitome of cool.

Mr Moony wonders where Mr Prongs learnt a word such a 'epitome'.

Mr Treacle has seen Mr Prongs reading the dictionary each night before bed.

Mr Padfoot thinks that it is to impress Miss Evans.

Mr Prongs denies it.

Mr Moony informs Mr Prongs that learning complicated words for Miss Evans will not endear him to her.

Mr Treacle tells Mr Prongs that Miss Evans likes poetry. He borrowed her poetry book.

Mr Padfoot wonders whether by 'borrowed' Mr Treacle means 'stole'.

Mr Prongs hopes Mr Treacle did not steal something from the lovely Miss Evans.

Mr Moony would like to hear a poem.

Mr Treacle says this poem is called 'The Cat'.

_I heard him that night,_

_I did._

_Outside my bedroom window,_

_He hid._

_And listened to the sounds outside_

_That were rushing through my head._

_I promise I heard him,_

_From my bed._

_His soft, padding paws I heard,_

_Padding outside my bedroom window,_

_His mouth purred, the noise so soft…_

_Please, I heard it._

Mr Padfoot dislikes this poem. It's about a cat.

Mr Prongs wonders whether he should write poems to Miss Evans.

Mr Moony advises him against it.

Mr Treacle is not sure he agrees with Mr Moony. He is sure the end product would be amusing.

Mr Padfoot announces that the end product would be painful, and Mr Prongs should not write poetry.

Mr Prongs decides to listen to Mr Moony's judgement.

Mr Moony feels gratified.

Mr Treacle would like to give an important announcement. This is now a never-ending fic!

Mr Padfoot wonders whether they should be doing a victory dance or something along those lines.

Mr Prongs wishes that Mr Padfoot would stop doing the Macarena. It is disturbing.

Mr Moony grudgingly announces that for once he agrees with Mr Prongs.

Mr Treacle still resents that name.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs still don't care.

**Please review!**

**In case anyone was wondering, I wrote that poem ages ago. And by ages I mean years. But please tell me what you thought of it, anyway.**


	5. In Which Messrs P, P and T Are Morons

**I exist. Actually, the whole point of this chapter was the author's note at the bottom. So please read it (after the actual chapter, of course).**

Mr Moony decides that his friends are morons.

Mr Padfoot wonders why he has decided to mention this.

Mr Prongs reminds Mr Padfoot about what happened today.

Mr Treacle protests that it was amusing.

Mr Moony assures Mr Treacle that it wasn't.

Mr Prongs suggests the readers are informed about the happenings of today.

Mr Padfoot takes it upon himself to describe what happened:

_Messrs Padfoot, Prongs and Treacle were slightly annoyed with Mr Moony's chocolate eating and stealing ways, so they played a little _harmless_ prank on him._

Mr Moony explains that they made it so everything he touched turned to chocolate!

Mr Treacle tells Mr Moony from that Middie guy…

Mr Prongs reminds Mr Treacle that it was Midas.

Mr Padfoot wonders why Mr Moony's quill hasn't turned to chocolate.

Mr Moony was clever and went to McGonagall to get it fixed.

Mr Treacle is scared of a detention.

Mr Prongs assures him that Mr Moony wouldn't snitch on them.

Mr Padfoot isn't so sure. How would one explain away everything they touch turning into chocolate?

Mr Moony makes it known that when you have been in the marauders for this long, excuses come easily to you.

Mr Treacle calms down a little.

Messrs Padfoot and Prongs wonder what excuse Mr Moony used.

Mr Moony said that he got in the way of a stray spell, but he didn't see the caster.

Mr Treacle notes that the excuse was surprisingly simple.

Mr Prongs is annoyed by how boring it was.

Mr Padfoot could have come up with better.

Mr Moony doesn't doubt it, but at the same time doesn't want to hear it right now.

Mr Treacle agrees.

Mr Prongs wrote some poetry for Miss Evans!

_I love you my lovely Lily-flower,_

_Your eyes have that sort of power,_

_I once saw you in a tree,_

_I think you like tea,_

_Please, will you go out with me?_

Mr Padfoot could write better.

Mr Moony is appalled by how bad Mr Prongs's poem was, but is sure that one by Mr Padfoot would be worse.

Mr Treacle is sure that the poem implies that Mr Prongs has been stalking Miss Evans.

Mr Prongs is sure that the other three are just jealous of him amazing poetry power.

Mr Padfoot is not quite sure what to say.

Mr Moony believes it would be a good idea to end this chapter now.

Mr Treacle still resents that name.

Messrs Moony, Padfoot and Prongs still don't care.

**Okay everyone, I've had an idea that I'm really excited about. Basically, me and three other people will roleplay as the marauders (in a forum I will make specifically for this) as if we are writing letters to each other until September. Then I'll publish them as a story, with everyone credited.**

**So what I need is three people to be Prongs, Moony and Wormtail (I'm going to be Padfoot) who are willing to keep this up until September. It's not all about the story that will be published, it's about having fun as well!**

**If you are interested please leave a review or PM me and I'll contact you at a later date.**


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